Who Plugged the Dyke by Steve Schatz

Author:Steve Schatz
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: mystery, lgbt, humor, gay humor, indiana, gay friends, drag queens, nacho mama, steve schatz
Publisher: Any Summer Sunday Books

Chapter Thirteen - Wednesday Night

I got to the restaurant with plenty of time to help before the doors opened. However, the Felcherites got there before me. They filled the sidewalk, carrying torches and crosses. All they needed were some white robes and it would have looked like a good ol’ time Klan rally. Of course, the 'God Hates Fags' and 'You Shall be Judged' signs were not traditional, but the hate behind them was. Felcher was in fine form, with a megaphone in one hand and the Bible in the other. "This trollop of Satan will burn. Fire shall consume her and all those who flock to her. Shun her for the flames of Hell are real!" His face bulged in the torchlight. He looked like he might burst into flame just to prove his point. I waded through them. At the door to the restaurant I looked back at the crowd, trying to somehow pick out any potential assassins. No one had a neon sign above them that read ‘Caution: Killer Below’. Then I blinked, stunned. Very close to Felcher, untroubled and untouched by the waves of hate, a hand resting gently on his butt, was Aunt May. She gave no indication that she knew me, merely serenely gazed back. I'm not the sharpest pencil in the box, but it occurred to me that I had better stop looking her way or someone was going to notice and that was not going to help her ingratiate herself into the horde. I shook off my shock and stumbled into the restaurant. Deb was gazing out the door while a mixture of disgust, amusement, and anger battled across her face.

"What are we going to do about the uninvited?" I asked.

"Not much to do," Deb said. "They'd love to have someone call the cops. They'll yell freedom of speech and the news will cover them, not me. They still will probably get most of the press. Loud imbeciles are more interesting than a lesbian judge."

"I can think of a few ladies who would prefer you," I said with a hint of a leer.

"I said more interesting, not preferable," Deb said and winked. "Let's go help Foxy get ready. Maybe we can get some of the event staff to help arrivals run the gauntlet."

However, just beyond the entryway, it became clear that Foxy had everything well under control. This evening was Foxy's show and he was not about to be upstaged. This man had opened Pie Holes across the country and knew how to prepare for nearly any eventuality. "If a small demonstration by backwoods born-agains can stymie this event, I might as well go back to the bayou," he said to us. “I have prepared for this and several other eventualities.” He returned to speaking into his phone, while his assistant, Rox was busy on another. As we watched, a large truck pulled up outside loaded with rolls of plastic tarp-like material over twelve feet tall. Another truck contained a load of fourteen-foot-tall, shiny metal poles.

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